MOHR: Life isn’t fair. Get over it. Better yet, overcome it.

FERGUSON & UNEQUAL TREATMENT:
Life isn’t fair. Get over it. Better yet, overcome it.

By Marsha Mohr
Tonight I heard Michael Brown’s mother say that cop left the house that morning looking for someone to kill. My first reaction was “lady you’re nuts.” But then I thought for a moment, and maybe that’s what she actually believes.

You see, in some neighborhoods people don’t carry guns for self-defense, or to defend others, or even to keep the peace. They carry guns to wreak havoc and kill others. That’s why the leading cause of death of black men ages 18-24 is homicide. In the neighborhood and culture the Brown family sees every day, those with guns are the enemy, the ones who do intend to kill today. While these areas and this attitude are very isolated, to those who live there, this is their reality, the only frame of reference they have. A police officer with a gun is just a sanctioned killer.

To those of us not in those neighborhoods, a gun is simply a tool. The police use them to keep the peace and we use them for self-defense, hunting and sport. Used correctly shooting a gun is safer than playing basketball, or football, or soccer. We don’t leave the house with guns intending to kill anyone, so we don’t see the police as doing that either. The different cultures we live in shape our perceptions.

We’re also seeing differences in the way the media treats the story. In Ferguson Officer Wilson shot someone and Officer Wilson is responsible, justified or not. On the south side of Chicago a thug shoots someone and the gun, unemployment, lack of education, or society as a whole is responsible. So to simplify, the white cop is responsible, the black thug is a victim. Not equal treatment by any means. If you take a quality concealed carry class one of the things you learn is that shooting someone, justified or not, has far reaching unintended consequences, and you will be responsible. Not society, not your absent father or drug addict mother, you, the person who pulled the trigger. So let’s teach the kids to be responsible. And yes, that may actually mean reforming the entitlement system. We have bridges and roads that are a mess. We have millions on welfare. Teach them to work for the check they get.  Don’t think it can be done? Google WPA.

Second, expect more. If you see all your friends die, shot in their youth, you have no expectation of living beyond 24 either. That means you take risks, and you don’t value life, yours or other peoples. This is where community leaders need to change their messages. They keep showing up telling people they are mistreated and treated unfairly. Guess what? Life isn’t fair. Get over it. Better yet, overcome it.

That leads me to the third point. Stop teaching self-esteem. Self-esteem is simply thinking highly of yourself, whether it’s warranted or not. Start teaching how to achieve things. With achievement and earning comes pride, and self-respect. And with self-respect comes respect for others, and then for life. And when we get to that point, we can all see things from similar perspectives.