Isn’t it amazing how the first word out of gun grabbers’ pie holes is, “Oh we believe in gun rights.  We just want to…  blah blah blah.  Nobody wants to take guns away from people.”

Until they do just that…  with an unending stream of vapid writing, pandering to the simple minded and the well-meaning who just haven’t learned how the real world works yet.

The latest of these features Chicago Tribune’s Crack Contact Reporter Heidi Stevens.  Little Miss Heidi has departed from her usual  reporting to tackle an adult issue:  Gun Rights.

In short, she thinks we need a gun ban and that will magically stop criminal violence running rampant in Chicagoland and elsewhere in America.

Here’s the first article that popped up when I searched for Heidi Stevens.  Perhaps it was the apex of her writing.

Hate mail lesson: Uncombed hair threatens the natural order

(Chicago Tribune) – The people have spoken, and the people hate my hair.

“How could anyone take seriously anything written by an author whose accompanying picture makes her look like a tramp, with greasy, matted, uncombed hair?” a fellow named David wrote me recently.

“For heaven sake, comb your hair,” offered a woman named Jacquie. “Your picture instills not one iota of a knowledgeable person.”

Gosh, is it any wonder why the Trib is hemorrhaging readers faster than a femoral artery blowout?

For the record, we agree with Jacquie…  not because Heidi doesn’t comb her hair, but because of her gold leaf intellectual depth in analyzing adult problems and their solutions.

Here’s her Mother’s Day piece.  We’ve removed the fecal odor about it, but aren’t responsible if it returns after we’ve gone.

Forget flowers. I want a sea change on guns for Mother’s Day

(Chicago Tribune) – Flowers, though, feel inadequate this year. They feel worse than inadequate. They feel distasteful.

…Is it too much to ask for a complete sea change on guns for Mother’s Day?

[blah blah blah tugging at heartstrings deleted]

…The writer, a high school teacher named Daniel Hughes, is Australian, but his parents live in Chicago. He follows our gun plague closely.

“In 1996, a manic depressive by the name of Martin Bryant, in Port Arthur, Tasmania, picked up his semi-automatic rifle and proceeded to murder, at random, 35 innocent people,” Hughes wrote. “The response from the Australian government, led by then-Prime Minister John Howard, was to outlaw all automatic and semi-automatic weapons, as well as severely restrict the ownership of other guns and similar weaponry, even crossbows. Nobody was about to argue — the evidence in Port Arthur was compelling enough. Without guns, crazy people are just crazy people. With guns, they are very, very dangerous. No guns, no gun shops, no access, no worries.

No gun shops.  No worries.

Not exactly.

From GunFacts:

Myth: Gun control in Australia is curbing crime

Fact: Homicides were falling before the Australian firearm ban. In the seven years before and after the Australian ban, the rate of decline was identical (down to four decimal places). Homicides dropped steeply starting in 2003, but all of this decline was associated with non-firearm and non-knife murders (fewer beatings, poisonings, drownings, etc.). ³³

Fact: Crime has been rising since enacting a sweeping ban on private gun ownership. In the first two years after the ban, government statistics showed a dramatic increase in criminal activity. ³⁴ In 2001-2002, homicides were up another 20%. ³⁵

From the inception of firearm confiscation to March 27, 2000, the numbers are:

• Firearm-related murders were up 19%
• Armed robberies were up 69%
• Home invasions were up 21%

The sad part is that in the 15 years before the national gun confiscation:

• Firearm-related homicides dropped nearly 66%
• Firearm-related deaths fell 50%

Fact: Gun crimes have been rising throughout Australia since guns were banned. In Sydney alone, robbery rates with guns rose 160% in 2001, more than in the previous year. ³⁶

Fact: A ten year Australian study has concluded that firearm confiscation had no effect on crime rates. ³⁷ A separate report also concluded that Australia’s 1996 gun control laws “found [no] evidence for an impact of the laws on the pre-existing decline in firearm homicides” ³⁸ and yet another report from Australia for a similar time period indicates the same lack of decline in firearm homicides. ³⁹

Fact: Despite having much stricter gun control than New Zealand (including a near ban on handguns) firearm homicides in both countries track one another over 25 years, indicating that gun control is not a control variable. ⁴⁰

Heidi Stevens needs to stick with her area of expertise and write about uncombed, unkept greasy hair and leave the discussions about civil rights to the adults.  And quit giving blondes everywhere a bad reputation.